Songs by Take Root member Deanna Pino
You Left Me Standing
I was seven traveling from Cologne, Germany to destination unknown. I had been kidnapped by my dad and on the run for a little over a year. Back then amber alerts and milk cartons with faces of missing children didn't exist. Tired from dragging my yellow suitcase across the platform of the train station, I stood frozen from exhaustion. My father was somewhere past the crowd as I disappeared quickly into the fury of people brushing past me. Losing my bearings, I started to panic. My father took 10 minutes, (which felt like an eternity) to find me, as I stood crying in hysterics. Sniffling through my tears I bravely blurted out, "You left me standing, why did you that?"
About five years ago, I attempted to reach out to my father after having no contact with him for over 10 years. One day I decided enough was enough and called him, only to be faced with a series of hang ups. Phone call after phone call, he refused to come to the table, when finally I yelled into his machine "You f*&*er you better pick up." I wailed for hours like a wolf abandoned by its pack. I could feel my body wanting to go through the emotional death of my relationship with my father and allowed my outburst to come full circle. Luckily, I had years of therapy and a deep understanding that no matter the matter, I had to take full responsibility for my life. It was in that moment that I realized that I was not a victim. That I had chosen to be here on this earth and that there was nothing outside of me creating my reality. That it was up to me as to how I would create value and contribute to the world around me. My life's lesson has been about losing and finding me.
It took eighteen years for me to be reunited with my mother. The consequences and impact of being abducted didn’t take its toll until I was in my early twenties. Unraveling at the seams from years of being held as an emotional hostage, I suffered through a psychotic episode that led to many years of heartache, depression and darkness. Crawling out from underneath the broken pieces of my life, I slowly started to build a new beginning by examining my inner psyche when I discovered Buddhism, which took me from just surviving to thriving to taking full responsibility for myself.
It has taken me many years to get to this point of feeling like nothing’s missing. I am now living my dream, pursuing my art and sharing my experiences so that I can speak out for those who have had their rights stripped away. I am so proud of my debut CD, “You Left Me Standing”. This CD is dedicated to missing and recovered children who have been kidnapped by a parent and/or guardian. And for the missing kids and for the recovered who are still trying to find their way back home, may their voices be heard and validated.
For more information you can visit: www.myspace.com/deannapino